its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
