But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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