I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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