All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
