I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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