my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
