If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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