we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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