sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
