I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
