i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I need a burrito and a hug.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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