i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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