Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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