he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
