so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
