Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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