yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
