I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
