i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
