I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
