Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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