So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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