Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
