Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So much rum. So many feels.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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