Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
