If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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