What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He uses pillows to masturbate.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
