Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize