Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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