You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
