I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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