i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
