why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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