Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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