Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
that may or may not have been my penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
