Whod you bang
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
