no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
