Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
