Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
