Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
