i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
