now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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