YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
