I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
