That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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