yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
