also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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