Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
