she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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