some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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