you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
