And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
