If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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