grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
