this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
