it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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