1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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