i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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