I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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