I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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