he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
