i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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