I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize