you guys were way drunker than both of me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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