I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
