she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize